did the soul proprietor fake his own death?
by Jonathan
As most of you are well aware by now, New York Night Train Soul Proprietor Mr. Jonathan Toubin has turned up missing. Embarking upon a high-speed train ride, the conductor’s most recent mission to rock your pants off, which led to an exhaustive run of nearly thirty gigs in the last month, culminated in a bloody epic Peckinpah-esque conclusion. Mr. Toubin’s final ride and brave demise, somewhere between those of Casey Jones and John Henry, is a narrative evocative not only a number of highlights from the canon American folklore, but one with unambiguous similarities to the tales of mythical heroes across geographical and chronological barriers.
Before you abandon all hope, dear readers, please be aware that, while ample evidence exists to confirm the end of this chapter, we should not be so hasty as to close the book entirely. Since disappearing after Friday’s Ants In Yr Pants Dance Party at Savalas, the Soul Proprietor’s remains haven’t yet been discovered and recent reports of sightings in Buenos Aires, Dublin, and Capetown still offer hope that our hero faked his own death and there are a few local suspects, all of whom remain suspiciously quiet (co-conspirators?), and are, to varying degrees, likely to be concealing information relating to either the nature of his disappearance or the location of his remains.
As you have so perceptively discerned, the train keeps-a-rolling all night long. And while the disquieting sight of the empty conductor’s seat certainly compels you to ask what phantom drives this metallic leviathan, we urge you to divert your eyes from the looming precipice ahead and instead focus on solving the mystery at hand – commencing with the following list of suspects – be they bystanders, villains, or saviors:
Wednesday, November 14, New York Night Train Wednesday, Motor City: Actress Zumi Rosso (most recently seen in Whassup Rockers?), and musician Michael Gerner, currently of Vietnam, both roommates of the Soul Proprietor, and key suspects in his disappearance, both have unlimited access to the city’s most infamously exquisite and haphazardly extensive vinyl library, and will juggle the scratchy artifacts into the early morning for your listening pleasure.
Thursday, November 15: 1960s Discotheque, Beauty Bar back room: The non-paralleled sonic expertise of none other than Mr. Toubin’s partner in this new weekly enterprise, another key suspect in his disappearance, Melissa “Fanni Tutti” Scaduto of Crystal Stilts fame, may offer up a few clues. But currently Ms. Tutti only pleas the fifth – only uttering gibberish involving a strong desire to see you Swim, Hully Gully, and Monkey.
Friday, November 16, Ants In Yr Pants Dance Party, Savalas: will be helmed by two more possible culprits in the Conductor’s disappearance: award-winning filmmaker Eva S/ Aridjis, whose most recent masterpiece, La Santa Muerte is currently receiving international screenings, and Nicholas Ray, formerly assuming the alias Nick Diablo, leader of Viva l’American Death Ray Music, drummer for Golden Triangle, guitarist for April March, and singer/guitarist for Hundred Eyes. Both also refuse to cooperate in the investigation and claim ignorance in all matters involving the disappearance but recently made a public statement about their ambition to make you itch and scratch each other across the floor beneath the constellation or rotating red disco dots.
Conspiracy anyone? Who is to gain? Stay tune ’til next week…
Finally, regardless of the health and well-being of Soul Proprietor Mr. Jonathan Toubin, legendary New Orleans Ninth Ward musician/inventor/marching band leader/party-rocker extraordinaire/cult hero Quintron will be participating in two upcoming NYNT events - November 30 at Ants In Yr Pants Dance Party at Savalas (Drum Buddy-based DJ sets!) and December 1 at Animal Train Happening at Glasslands - “happy garden” theme party with the world premier of Ms. Pussycat’s new film Trixie and the Tree Trunks, a performance piece for three Drum Buddies, live set by Golden Triangle, and much more….
