OK. I know you’re tired and cold, but I am too. Wait. Wrong tactic. I know you’re cold and tired, but popular science has shown not only that dancing both improves circulation and makes you warmer but that it also helps battle fatigue. That sounds better, non? Come see me kiddies - the parties aren’t slowing up in the New Year!

Thursday, Jan 3, On! Sixties Discotheque Party, Beauty Bar (231 E. 14th, East Village, Manhattan), 11pm, FREE: New York Night Train’s latest venture is a collaboration between the Soul Proprietor and walking musical encyclopedia and rock machine, the indomitable Ms. Melissa Fanni Tutti – who, last time I checked, also has the blues. But that’s why we need to make the party move more than ever - turning dance music platters centered smack dab in the center of popular music’s greatest and most diverse decade. Making a go at channeling the variety inherent in the playlists of the discotheques and radio of the era, we attempt to cover soul, garage, and freakbeat plus a dash of boogaloo, girl groups, bubblegum, frat r&b, psychedelics, discotheque, boogaloos, tropicalia, yé-yé, latin delights, etc. Get it? ON! C’mON, get ON! Get off at ON! Plus, hardcore legend Mark Ryan spins up front!

Friday, Jan 4, Ants In Yr Pants Dance Party, Savalas (285 Bedford, Williamsburg, Brooklyn), 10pm, FREE: Msssr. DEREK STANTON!, he of AWESOME COLOR fame, has briefly returned from Michigan to make you shake those icicles all night long. Any of you who’ve caught me and my amigo spin before are well aware that you’ll find a relentless mix of Detrot R&B and R&R. Plus, tonight, don’t be surprised if Mr. Stanton also pulls out his arsenal of funk weapons. A greasy night of good bootiee. Slide on in my cold little snakes!

Saturday, January 5: Soul Clap and Dance-Off 7, Glasslands Gallery (289 Kent, WIlliamsburg, Brooklyn), 10pm, $2: This is the jam where New York Night Train’s Jonathan Toubin proves why he’s the Soul Proprietor - spinning only the finest in soul 45s, obscurities, novelties, and classics spanning late-r&b to early funk but centering on mid-60s burners - exclusively for your dancing pleasure. Our MC is once again the lovely and charismatic Laura Lee and this month’s neighborhood celebrity judges include DESTINY of Shock Cinema, GINA of Moisturizer, Les Sans Coulettes, World Inferno Friendship, etc., JOSH LEE HOOKER of the Headless Hookers, Sean of SamIam, Fakers, etc., and the world’s most dynamic r’n'r projectionist SPENCER of A Place to Bury Strangers, Warlocks, Death In Vegas, etc.. The Soul Clap and Dance-Off is rapidly turning out to be one of the city’s more unusual contests and one of my kookiest events as more and more freaks from god knows where show up to win the pot of gold - but it also retains its organic authenticity and mellow intimacy. Thaw yr toes while finding out if you can bank off your skills in a big way, or just dance and witness - either way you get crazy soul music and dancin’ ’til you can’t take it no more. And this is the last one that’s only $2 - get it while it’s hot…

And, next week, not only will you find the New York Night Train’s Motor City esoteric excitement with Mr. Nicholas Ray, Beauty Bar bounce with Melissa Fanni Tutti, Savalas with the legendary Mr. John Spencer himself, and Daddy’s solo, but you’ll also find live performances Thursday by Berlin’s Jeans Team at Marquis Dancehall’s going away party and John Spencer, Matt Verta-Ray, and Phil Hernandez’s new rockabilly supergroup Heavy Trash with NYNT favorites Puddin’ Tang at Glasslands!